


the trial and tribulations of being a spy (according to Joe Toye)

by aliaaaaaa



Series: webgottrash tumblr prompts [69]
Category: Band of Brothers
Genre: I'm Sorry for the Sloppy, Luz is a Motormouth, M/M, Toye is a Actually a Softie Badass, spy AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-15
Updated: 2016-08-15
Packaged: 2018-08-09 01:16:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7781263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aliaaaaaa/pseuds/aliaaaaaa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Being an intelligence agent is already a tediously dangerous job.</p><p>During mission, Joe has to take care of his own ass in order not to get caught or worse, killed. But thrown in George and his big mouth, then his priority of keeping his ass safe has dropped down to the lowest spot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the trial and tribulations of being a spy (according to Joe Toye)

**Author's Note:**

> for that anon who wanted a LuzToye Spy AU and I am so sorry for this mess of a writing. this has been beta-read by the awesome [Skip!](musingsofapointlessexistence.tumblr.com)
> 
> all mistakes are mine.

 

When this is all over, Joe Toye will slowly torture whoever thought that partnering him up George Luz is a good idea. Don’t get him wrong, he likes George; likes him enough to actually marry the motormouth.

But this –being partnered up with his husband on a dangerous mission– is _not_ something he wants. _Ever_.  
  
*

Being an intelligence agent is already a tediously dangerous job.

(Nixon insists on using this term instead of _spy_ because he doesn’t want anyone to associate E Agency with James Bond. There even was an online petition to change the term because according to Heffron, “Introducing myself as an intelligence agent is a mouthful plus spy is way so much cooler.”

Even though the petition collected about 50 signatures, Nixon still shut the idea down)

During mission, Joe has to take care of his own ass in order not to get caught or worse, killed. But thrown in George and his big mouth, then his priority of keeping his ass safe has dropped down to the lowest spot. And the whole Keep George Luz Alive Program has proven to be a difficult mission in itself because George’s mouth doesn’t seem to have an off button.

Even when they’re stuck inside the narrow shoes closet of the famous drug lord’s manor, George _keeps_ talking.

“Isn’t this great, Joe? You and I on our first mission as a married couple! And we are so gonna kick Dike’s ass when we get our hands on that document of all of his famous clients–What?”

Joe levels a sharp glare at his small husband, but he finds that he cannot keep the angry act for too long because George is looking at him with his big brown eyes and his eyelashes look so long when they are pressed so close like this.

“You talk too much,” Joe grumbles softly and he feels George sneaking his arms around his waist, squeezing his ass briefly.

“Well, I’m not really fond of small, narrow space and talking helps prevent the impending panic from gripping me by the throat and I know for a fact that you like it when I tal–”

“Luz.”

One word in that tone and George shuts his mouth looking miffed from being chided by his husband but he doesn’t say anything anymore.

Joe takes the rare silence to devise another plan.

They were in the middle of hacking into Dike’s server to search for the list of his client names and the illegal drugs his company are manufacturing when someone stepped inside the room, hence why he and George are trapped in the tiny shoes closet now.

And the closet _is_ tiny because they have no room to even wiggle their bodies without brushing up against each other and for the last 15 minutes George keeps pressing his body closer against him and doing this small up and down motions that make Joe bites down a groan.

If this is any normal day, if they are at their own home; he knows that George will probably be fucked 5 ways till Sunday. But right now, they are on an important mission and having his husband shimmies his delicious body against him is not in the manual.

“Stop dry humping me.”

George flutters his eyelashes at him and damn his lips for automatically tugging upwards from seeing the small flirty gesture.

“I’m bored and if you don’t share your plan with me then I’m gonna keep distracting you,” George pouts, but his eyes have that dangerous teasing glint in them.

“When this is over, I’m gonna ask Colbert to pair me with someone else,” Joe warns but George just grins beatifically at him.

“Tough luck, Joe. Person told me the deadline to change partner is already closed for the year. Guess you’re stuck with me, babe.” George puckers up his lips and leans up to kiss Joe only to have Joe’s palm smothering his face.

“Shh, listen.”

They both fall into a tense silence, perking up their ears to listen to any noises outside of the closet. Joe looks at George who suddenly looks all serious and holds 3 fingers up. “When the door is opened, kick whoever behind it okay?”

George nods sharply once and despite the tense lines around his mouth, George’s squeezes Joe’s waist briefly, a comfort, a promise that he’s there to help Joe. When the closet door is being yanked open, George moves smoothly like water; he elbows the man in the face sharply and ducks quickly when Joe swings his punches to the man’s nose. Blood spluttering om their black shirts and George rolls away swiftly, pulling out the gun from the holster tied around his thigh and he shoots his moving target.

One down.

Two down.

Joe is already up and making his way to the laptop, quickly scanning the list of password that Snafu has helpfully provided them to hack into Dike’s file system; his eyes alternating between watching the progress of the information being uploaded to the E Agency server and watching George kicking these bastards’ asses easily.

“Behind you, babe,” Joe informs as he types something to Snafu.

George turns around shoots the guy in between his eyes; the silencer provides much needed discretion.

“How are we doing?” George pants, because currently he’s neck is in a tight headlock around a big burly man’s arms.

“10 percent more. Need help?” Joe asks, already moving to leave the laptop.

“I got this! Just keep the server moving!” George grunts as he flips himself over the guy, successfully knocking him down. He pulls out a pen from his pocket and stabs the guy’s meaty arm until blood is flowing freely from the deep wound.

7 percent and Joe feels the cold barrel of a gun being pressed behind his head.

“Babe?” Joe says in an eerily calm voice that makes George turns to him and says a quiet “Dike.”

5 percent.

“Drop your weapon,” Dike threatens but George doesn’t move; hand still holding his precious Beretta that Joe gives as a wedding gift.

“I said drop the fucking weapon or else I will fucking blow his brain out!”

4 percent and Dike pulls the power cord and the laptop goes black.

Joe’s eyes flickers to George’s and he sees the determined look in George’s eyes that make Joe’s stomach bottoms out.

This is the real reason that he protests loudly when Winters told him that his new partner is his own husband.

(He had screamed at Winters; demanded for immediate partner change but Nixon had shook his head no.

“You two have great working chemistry and we need both of your expertise with Dike’s case.”

He had punched a hole in Winters’ office wall, made his knuckles bleed and when George softly pressed his lips on the tore skin, he hissed, not because of the pain but because he knew he wouldn’t be able to focus on finishing the mission _and_ keeping his husband alive at the same time)

Now the fear that he feels deep in his bone has come true, knowing that in this moment, if he fucks up even for a bit, his George will be in danger.

“George,” Joe says, his tone monotonous but his eyes are flashing with something that George can’t understand.

Dike pushes the gun against Joe’s head more insistently.

Joe looks up at George, pleading silently with his eyes for his husband to follow Dike’s order. George hesitates for a bit, then he drops his gun on the carpeted floor and raises his hands up.

“Move closer to the wall.”

George moves silently, his eyes still train on Joe and the gun behind Joe’s head. His heart starts to race and he hates the gripping helpless feeling when he keeps dismissing the plans in his head to save Joe. He knows that one wrong move, Dike will not hesitate to kill Joe. Hell, he will probably kill them both in the next second because E Agency has been chasing Norman Dike since a year ago; Joe and Liebgott have been the mastermind behind all of the plans to catch Dike. But since Lieb got wounded in Baltimore, Nixon pulled him out from the mission and now George is here, watching his husband in the mercy of the man they are planning to take down.

“I must say,” Dike starts, the gun still resting heavily against Joe’s head. “I’m surprised you two managed to break into my manor without anyone detecting. Nixon probably invested too much money in the latest technology to make you guys invisible. But then you two got caught and now all of the effort that you have worked _so hard_ to bring me down will be worthless.”

Dike laughs, a high pitched laughter that reminds Joe of someone inhaling the laughing gas and it grates on his nerves in the worse way possible.

But Dike isn’t finished talking, his head is turned towards George, speaking directly to him. “I don’t know why Nixon thought of bringing you in. Hell, my guys took down Liebgott and I’m sure as hell can take care of someone small like you!”

His laughter once again consumes the room and Joe feels his patience wearing thin and it’s stupid and reckless but he has to try otherwise they both will be dead and he rather dies than George gets hurt.

Joe waits for Dike to talk more and he actually feels frustrated that George chooses this moment to shut his big mouth because he needs Dike to be distracted.

“You’re not gonna get away with this, Dike,” George mutters, he feels his body tightening with tension.

“Famous last words,” Dike mocks and he makes the mistake of pulling up the gun from the back of Joe’s head because it is what Joe has been waiting; for Dike to be careless enough like this that he can dig his sharp elbow into Dike’s stomach, turn around to slap Dike’s mouth with the heel of his palm.

He isn’t expecting Dike to pull the trigger while he’s flailing around in pain.

The loud gunshot shatters the tension in the room and Joe feels sharp pain slicing his torso and the last thing that he hears before everything turns black is George’s voice screaming his name.

 

*

 

When Joe wakes up, he notices two things: 

 

  1. The sound of consistent beeping coming from the monitor so he knows that he is not dead.
  2. George is sleeping; his face presses on the scratchy material of the blanket and he is gripping Joe’s wrist loosely.



 

Joe feels his chest expanding, a flood of relief pouring down on him knowing that George is safe. He tries to speak, tries to call George’s name but his tongue feels heavy like he has swallowed cotton balls.

He settles on pulling his wrist away from George’s grip and that jolts George awake from his slumber.

“Joe?” George asks, his voice rough from sleep and his eyes look swollen, probably from crying and Joe moves his hand and thumbs George’s soft wrist.

“Hey, babe. You’re awake,” George murmurs in relief, smiling as he moves to get closer to Joe. “How are you feeling?”

Joe licks his lips and whispers, “Like shit.”

George grins and then he blinks his eyes as he cries. “Shit. Sorry. Fuck.”

Joe grips George’s wrist firmly, pulls George hand to his lips and kisses it. “‘M okay.”

“You are. But shit, you were in the OR for 3 hours. Dike’s bullet went through your side and barely grazed your kidney,” George explains quietly and Joe kisses the back of George’s hand again and only then he realized George’s other hand; the one that he favors when he throw punches.

“What happened?” Joe asked, eyeing the white bandages around George’s knuckles.

“After you got shot, I sort of had a blackout rage and started to pummel Dike’s face,” George explains. “Then Hoosier arrived with Sledge and they had to pull me away because Dike’s nose was already broken. Hoos had to calm me down and I was confused of seeing them there. Sledge told me that you sent Snaf a message.”

Joe nods. “Told him to bust our assess if he didn’t hear from us in the next 5 mins.”

“Good thinking,” George admits and he leans to kiss Joe on the lips; soft and gentle as if he’s afraid that Joe will break.

“Hey,” Joe whispers, cradling George’s face in his hand. “I’m okay.”

“Let’s find a new job after this,” George suggests, nuzzling Joe’s palm. “Dike’s case is officially solved. We saved the world from the spread of new drugs. We totally deserve a break.”

“What kind of work do you have in mind?”

“Farming maybe,” George answers seriously. “We could buy a land and start our own farm. It will be a lot of hard work so you can’t complaint about being bored.”

“Trade our guns for hoes?” Joe asks.

“I’m the only hoe you will need, baby,” George quips back easily.

Joe kisses George again because he can and he is allowed and because he almost dies today so he needs to be able to feel how solid his husband is. How warm and soft George feel when pressing close to him like that.

The idea of a quiet life with George, away from dangerous missions sounds good and he is seriously considering it because the needs to protect George cancels out the needs for him to have the coolest job in the world. There’s nothing cool about being a spy when he can’t protect George and his own ass.

But the idea of sleeping sounds greater and Joe yawns, feeling his brain turning fuzzy when the morphine kicking in again.

When he wakes up, he will discuss the details about them leaving the agency but for now, he’s whispering a soft “I love you, Georgie.” to his husband.

And before he falls into a dreamless sleep, he hears George’s soft voice murmuring, “I love you too, Joe.” against his cheek.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! comments and kudos are very much appreciated!


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